When I was pregnant, I read everything I
could about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
I’m sure everyone sits in the OB office and up in bed at night fearing
the pain and suffering, and a certain extent of knowledge will help. But
the stuff that turned out to be not-so-helpful was the “brace yourself” style
of fear-mongering blog posts, articles, and comments from people who seem like
deep down they just can’t wait to see you have the same painful/embarrassing
experience they had. So, here are
some good reasons to click the little X in the corner when what you’re reading
or hearing makes you ask Siri where you can get a DeLorean so you can go back
in time and hide your razor, replace all your underwear with granny panties,
and sprinkle garlic powder all over your dinner.
Things I was told to be scared of that
never happened…
1.
“They won’t let you leave the hospital until you
poop.” Ha, wrong! (In my case, at least.) With a quick wave of the hand, my doctor
granted me permission to leave the hospital.
In hushed tones, I whispered, “But I haven’t gone to the bathroom yet!” She explained that I would as soon as I was in
the comfort of my own home, and she was right!
2.
“Pooping was the worst experience of my
life! It was worse than having the baby!” Wrong again! (For me.) I took the stool softeners I was instructed
to take, and I felt absolutely no pain whatsoever. Thank God!
3.
“Try to relax, but the catheter will hurt pretty
bad!” After giving birth, I hadn’t peed
in a looooong time. My back started to
hurt, and they figured out it was my over-filled bladder, but the pee just
wouldn’t come out! Not only did I not
feel a thing when I was catheterized, but my back felt ten times better
instantly! Yay!
4.
“You’re going to get hemorrhoids and it’s going
to be a pain in the butt for the rest of your life.” (See what I did there…) Not me!
5.
“You will spend a lot of time trying to get baby
to latch. Then, you’ll just end up with
pumping or formula.” Lucky for me, my
baby was born ready to eat! She needed a
tad bit of help getting her mouth open wide enough, but she caught on quick!
6.
“Once your milk comes in, it will be squirting
everywhere all the time like a wet t-shirt contest!” I leaked sometimes for
maybe two months, but nothing a nursing pad couldn’t handle! I never had an embarrassing leaky moment. And
think about it… have you ever looked at a woman in public and noticed that she
was leaking milk? Me neither! (Either because people just don’t notice, or
because it rarely happens!)
7.
“Be prepared for people to make comments if you
nurse in public.” Nobody has ever said
anything negative to me! When I went out without my husband for the first time,
the only seat I could find was next to a mom and her young son. I was worried she wouldn’t want me nursing
where her son could see, so I asked her if it would be okay if I sat there and
fed my baby. She got really stern with
me and said, “Don’t you ever ask anyone that question again! Sit down and feed your baby!” So I did.
Then her son asked, “Mom, did you use a cover when you breastfed me?” The two of them sat there having an open,
candid discussion about breastfeeding in public. I can honestly say that I haven’t had a single
concern ever since!
Now, by no means did I have a 100% happy, painless, embarrassment-free
experience. But just remember how many
women have more than one baby! Naturally, we all have legitimate fears and
concerns, so surround yourself with the wise council of women who will
encourage you while answering your questions honestly.
