Why You Should Avoid Reading “TERRIFYING THINGS NOBODY TELLS YOU!!!” Articles

When I was pregnant, I read everything I could about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.  I’m sure everyone sits in the OB office and up in bed at night fearing the pain and suffering, and a certain extent of knowledge will help.  But the stuff that turned out to be not-so-helpful was the “brace yourself” style of fear-mongering blog posts, articles, and comments from people who seem like deep down they just can’t wait to see you have the same painful/embarrassing experience they had.  So, here are some good reasons to click the little X in the corner when what you’re reading or hearing makes you ask Siri where you can get a DeLorean so you can go back in time and hide your razor, replace all your underwear with granny panties, and sprinkle garlic powder all over your dinner.

Things I was told to be scared of that never happened…

1.       “They won’t let you leave the hospital until you poop.”  Ha, wrong!  (In my case, at least.)  With a quick wave of the hand, my doctor granted me permission to leave the hospital.  In hushed tones, I whispered, “But I haven’t gone to the bathroom yet!”  She explained that I would as soon as I was in the comfort of my own home, and she was right!

2.       “Pooping was the worst experience of my life!  It was worse than having the baby!”  Wrong again! (For me.)  I took the stool softeners I was instructed to take, and I felt absolutely no pain whatsoever.  Thank God!

3.       “Try to relax, but the catheter will hurt pretty bad!”  After giving birth, I hadn’t peed in a looooong time.  My back started to hurt, and they figured out it was my over-filled bladder, but the pee just wouldn’t come out!  Not only did I not feel a thing when I was catheterized, but my back felt ten times better instantly!  Yay!

4.       “You’re going to get hemorrhoids and it’s going to be a pain in the butt for the rest of your life.”  (See what I did there…) Not me!

5.       “You will spend a lot of time trying to get baby to latch.  Then, you’ll just end up with pumping or formula.”  Lucky for me, my baby was born ready to eat!  She needed a tad bit of help getting her mouth open wide enough, but she caught on quick!

6.       “Once your milk comes in, it will be squirting everywhere all the time like a wet t-shirt contest!” I leaked sometimes for maybe two months, but nothing a nursing pad couldn’t handle!  I never had an embarrassing leaky moment. And think about it… have you ever looked at a woman in public and noticed that she was leaking milk?  Me neither!  (Either because people just don’t notice, or because it rarely happens!)

7.       “Be prepared for people to make comments if you nurse in public.”  Nobody has ever said anything negative to me! When I went out without my husband for the first time, the only seat I could find was next to a mom and her young son.  I was worried she wouldn’t want me nursing where her son could see, so I asked her if it would be okay if I sat there and fed my baby.  She got really stern with me and said, “Don’t you ever ask anyone that question again!  Sit down and feed your baby!”  So I did.  Then her son asked, “Mom, did you use a cover when you breastfed me?”  The two of them sat there having an open, candid discussion about breastfeeding in public.  I can honestly say that I haven’t had a single concern ever since!

Now, by no means did I have a 100% happy, painless, embarrassment-free experience.  But just remember how many women have more than one baby!  Naturally, we all have legitimate fears and concerns, so surround yourself with the wise council of women who will encourage you while answering your questions honestly.

Hilarious Baby Shower Game

I've seen lots of "Bride or Groom" or "Mommy or Daddy" games to help people get to know you at a shower, but I think my version takes the cake!  I was always known to be a goody-goody good girl, but secretly I always know that I am just good at hiding the weird things I've done.  So, I have invented a party game to play with my siblings... It's called "Confessions" and all you have to do is to get everyone to confess something embarrassing that they've done in their life.  I'll be frank.  I had no idea what freaks I spend holidays with.  Sorry guys, just sayin.  I thought I had a doozy when I admitted one of my deepest darkest.  At a family Christmas party, (I stress as a very young girl) I discovered that I had been left high and dry in the TP department and it was a code brown.  I checked the cabinets.  Nothing.  So I did what I had to do.  The back of the Santa hand towel got it.  Then, I simply replaced the hand towel and left.  (So, I guess if nobody invites me to their parties anymore, I get it.  But I was really little, I swear!!!)  Well, my Santa towel story was far surpassed by a crazy story from my little sis, but I'm not at liberty to reveal the shock and awe.  Anyhoo, for my shower, I made a game along those lines... "Daddy or Mommy" and boy did people get a lot of good laughs!  The game has a list of basic info about myself and my husband along with a list of naughty or strange things we did as kids.  Party guests simply had to decide who did it, Daddy or Mommy? Then they held up a little sign that said Daddy or Mommy to indicate their answer, and I got to watch the mouths drop.  My favorite moments were when little old ladies would confidently hold up the Daddy sign, then look at me like I was a sicko.  Haha!  Or when my Mom yelled out, "You did what?!?!"  You definitely have to make your own for the kicks and giggles!  I even taped a copy into Little LB's baby book for future laughs.
 

How to Grocery Shop

Baby-wearing makes shopping so much easier, and it's less likely that strangers are going to poke your baby in this set-up!

It’s hard to figure out how to shop with your newborn baby!  Never fear!  Once you get the hang of it, it will become second nature.  Here are my tips for making your grocery shopping trips a bit easier!

·         If possible, take another adult with you the first couple of times so you can get the hang of it.

·         A lot of moms are afraid to go out at first because germy people are constantly reaching to touch the little papoose.  I could never muster the chutzpah to tell people, “Don’t touch,” but what I could do if needed was ask people to touch her feet.  “Oh, you can touch her feet if you’d like! You know babies, always putting their hands in their mouths!”

·         Use a grocery list app so you can always be adding things to your list and you don’t have to worry about losing a piece of paper.  Plus, you can easily meal plan during a midnight feeding on your phone!

·         Choose a wise time to go out, like 30 minutes after a morning feeding.  You don’t want baby to be hungry during or right after the trip.  You need time to put the groceries away.

·         Pee before you leave.  Nobody wants to pee their pants in public!

·         Leave the diaper bag in the car.  You can run out with baby and grab it if you really need it.  Take only wallet, phone, and keys. (And if you have a spitter, tuck a burp cloth in, too!)  Or you can slide the minimum (diaper and wipes) into your purse if the weather is bad.

·         When baby is old enough to need toys, bring 2 plastic toys that can be thrown in the dishwasher when you get home.

·         Park next to the cart return in case you have to load up your own groceries.

·         Know what you need and be decisive. There’s no telling how long you actually have before your LO loses it.

·         If baby is awake, use the opportunity to chat with the cutie!  I explain the different items we’re getting, what they are, what we’re doing next, etc.

·         Here are some options for how to tote baby:

·         Large shopping trip:

o   Baby in car seat, in main basket of cart.  (Not on top of cart seat! I’ve seen one tip over!)  Put a big sturdy bag (like a 31 bag) under the cart and toss items in bag and around car seat.  You can even have the bagger reload them into the big bag!

o   Wear baby.  Use whole cart!  With an older outward-facing baby, go to the floral department and get a balloon.  Clip to the front of your cart to entertain baby!

o   Baby in stroller with a family member/friend pushing stroller while you push the cart.

·         Small shopping trip:

o   Baby in stroller.  Toss items under stroller.  Perk – no cart to return!

·         If the clerk offers a carry-out, always say yes.  Ask for one if they don’t!

·         When I get back to the car, I snap her into the car seat first so she's secure.  Don’t start your car if you’re not in the driver’s seat. You’ll be too distracted with groceries and baby, risking someone getting in and driving off.

·         It can be overwhelming trying to figure out how to arrange baby, stroller, diaper bag, groceries, etc. into the car.  Remember that nothing really matters except the safety of you and baby.  Turn your back on your groceries, phone, and wallet before you turn your back on your baby.  (That’s why it’s so much easier to opt for the carry-out!  By the time I have baby all situated, the groceries are in and the cart is put away!)

·         When you get home, take baby inside first and set down in a safe location.  If you’re in luck, Pookie will be asleep, giving you time to use the bathroom and put groceries away before the next diaper change/feeding!

Disposable Diapering - The Logistics

Get as much practice as you can with changing diapers before your baby comes! Watch how other people do it, or even watch videos.

1. If your house has more than one story, set up a diaper changing station on each floor. It’s too hard to run the stairs each time! A small basket with diapers, wipes, Aquaphor, and a waterproof changing pad will do just fine!
2. Have a plan for messy clothing so they're not all stained. Here's mine... Rinse and soak dirty clothing in hot soapy water right away.  If I'm too lazy to go to the laundry room, I just squirt on some dish soap.  Spray on some pre-treating (Shout) spray, then wash ASAP adding Oxyclean to regular detergent. If out and about, use a Shout wipe and put clothing in a plastic bag. Clean as soon as you get home!
3. Pick stinky baby up with caution!  Try not to carry baby by the bottom because that poop has to go somewhere.  If the diaper is full, you risk squishing poo out the sides, back, or even front of the diaper. 
4. Getting started, to see if the diaper is wet, check the wetness indicator line, or see if part of the diaper got fluffy.  To see if it’s dirty, sniff to check for a vinegary smell on breastfed baby’s bottom, or carefully peek in the side. Don’t stick your finger in too deep!!!
5. Get everything ready first. Pull out as many wipes as you think you’ll need. For a dirty diaper, I usually use at least 3.
6. Before removing the old diaper, put the baby down on the fresh diaper. Then you can clean up baby, slide off the old diaper, add product, and close up the new one.  If baby starts to "go" again in the middle of the diaper change, it will go right on the diaper!
7. Advice from a NICU nurse on diaper rash prevention: Use a layer of Aquaphor under a thick layer of the red bottle Boudreaux’s Butt Paste. Thick like old-fashioned sunscreen on your nose. Prevention is best!  (Love that stuff! Smells like a delightful pumpkin pie!)
8. Always check around baby’s thighs to make sure the “gathers” are out.  If they get tucked in, poop can leak out easily.  You can see the gathers pretty well in this picture of my tiny newborn love sleeping on my mom!

Disposable Diapering - Prepping

It seems like everyone I know has a different experience with diaper brands, so take advice with a grain of salt! Don’t fret about registering for or purchasing the “wrong brand” because you can save the receipts and exchange what you don’t like or too much of one size. Here’s some advice I received from my mother hens and things I learned from my own experience.

If you look closely, you can see the yellow line on the diaper showing that the diaper is dry.

1. Register for name brand diapers with the wetness indicator line. (The line changes from yellow to blue when the diaper is wet. See pic above. It helps a lot when you’re a beginner and don’t know what a wet diaper looks/feels like.) I liked having the same brand my hospital used so that I could get used to the feel of how to use them.
2. Everyone seems to have a brand they had no luck with.  Mine was Seventh Generation.  It seemed like every dirty diaper resulted in a wardrobe change.
3. Wait until diapers are on sale, you have coupons, and they offer some sort of reward points at your store for them. Check the website Southern Savers to see if you are actually getting a good deal: http://www.southernsavers.com/stocking-up-on-diapers-how-much-to-buy-at-what-price/
4. If you register online, be sure to stop in the store to pick up your goodie bag.  Most places offer good diaper coupons in a little gift bag.  The best one I got was $25 off a $50 purchase of Honest Co diapers. Combining that with an in-store sale and spend $75 to get a $25 gift card, I got those expensive diapers for cheap!
5. If you have packs of both Pampers and Huggies, use the Pampers first. I always felt that Huggies are roomier.
6. Save receipts so you can return/exchange if you have too many of a size.  I know ladies whose babies skipped the Newborn size and went straight to Size 1!
7. Cute designs are so much fun, but if baby is wearing a light colored outfit, you’ll see the pattern straight through!  (Looking at you, Honest Co.!)  Some dresses come with a white diaper cover. Put that on over the diaper, then dress your baby in the outfit of your choice. Problem solved! 
8. Diapers with designs are super sweet for the monthly photo shoot!

A cute diaper, a bow, and a smile are all you need for a sweet monthly photo shoot!

Baby Prep Notebooking

So much prep work goes into getting ready for this moment and the days/weeks/months after!

There’s a lot to keep track of when you’re pregnant or have a newborn baby.  Here’s some advice I took and ran away with from my big sis:  Get a notebook.  LB would hold it up and say, “This is my brain.  If I don’t write it down, it never happened.”  I like a thick spiral notebook with big pockets.  You can use sticky notes to make tabs to find your entries.  Here are some of the entries in my notebook:

1. Usernames and Passwords (Insurance, Registries, etc.)
2.  Baby Moon Planning
3.  Things to Buy for Post Delivery Mama
4.  Bible Verses for Nursery, Announcements, L and D
5.  Nursery Décor To-do
6. Questions to ask the Pediatricians
7.  Pediatrician Interviews
8. Questions to ask at Hospital Tour
9. Hospital Info
10. Labor and Delivery Class Notes
11.  Introducing Pets to Baby Class Notes
12. Caring for your Baby Class Notes
13. OB Visits: Weight, Blood Pressure, Questions
14. Gestational Diabetes Info
15. Meals and Blood Sugar Record
16. Ordering Breast Pump Through Insurance
17.  Ideas to Induce My Own Labor
18. Record of Gifts and Thank You Notes
19. Hospital Packing List – Labor and Delivery Bag
20. Hospital Packing List – Mother and Infant Unit Bag
21. Induction Questions for OB

Here is my Baby Prep Notebook... Can anything be more exciting than some bright colored pens, little Post-its, and a big fat notebook with manila pockets?

What went in the pockets:

1. Hand-outs from doctors and classes
2. Prescription slips
3. Records of Diaper Changes and Feedings
4.  Pediatrician Paperwork
5. Photos and Ultrasound Pics
6. Appointment cards
7. Copy of birth plan

One thing that I will add to my next notebook is a page on controlling anxiety before and after baby arrives.  Having my plans written down helped me keep the little sanity I had left, though!  Plus, when it’s time for baby #2, I will be able to look back and remember what to do!

How I Can Almost Always Stop Baby From Crying

Sometimes she's had enough with Mamarazzi!

Music can change your mood immediately.  Think about coming home after the worst work day and hearing your jam on the radio.  Instant mood lifter, right?  When I got pregnant, I started listening to my favorite worship song every single morning while I made breakfast.  My intent was to listen to “Lord I Need You” during labor and delivery to help me through, and it did, but I also found out that the song had a magic quality.  If it was playing, Little LB abruptly stopped crying.  What was really going on?

1.       In the womb, baby is awake at night and asleep during the day.  I basically made the song a bedtime lullaby.

2.       Baby was rocked to sleep to the song as I walked around the kitchen singing along.

3.       Baby came to associate this song with both the comforts of the womb and sleep.

Choosing a lullaby like this is easy.  Pick a gentle song you love and think you could listen to several times a day.  Make it a song that feels calming to you.  Go easy on the percussion.  I particularly liked mine because I thought the rolling cymbals would be reminiscent of the air rushing through my lungs and my blood pumping.  Listen every morning while pregnant, during L and D, and anytime baby gets upset.  We have used it to calm her in the hospital, car seat, at the store, at home, and right after shots!  It still works like a charm after 6 months.  It amazes us that she can be crying in the car and hear the first notes of this song and stop crying immediately!  (Disclaimer... when the song ends, she often starts crying again if she hasn't fallen asleep. Sometimes it's a temporary fix... Unless we put it on repeat!)